Guest Blogger: Celia Rivenbark & Giveaway

Yesterday, I reviewed a hilarious book called YOU CAN'T DRINK ALL DAY IF YOU DON'T START IN THE MORNING by Celia Rivenbark. This book is laugh-out-loud funny, and I think Southerners, moms, and women in general are going to love it!

I am so glad that Ms. Rivenbark has written this guest post for my blog. I think it's a wonderful (and honest) look at motherhood as only Ms. Rivenbark can write. I am pretty sure that you will get an idea about Ms. Rivenbark's writing style as well as her sense of humor through this fun essay!

The Joyful and Not-So-Joyful Days of Being a Mom

I was 40 years old when my daughter was born. I had never changed a diaper in my life. I had never babysat for anyone. To tell the truth, I never particularly liked children. They all seemed too short and they talked funny. Maybe we just had too much in common now that I think about it.

Then along came Sophie. Precious gift-from-God Sophie. Totally unexpected. Totally capable of turning our lives upside down and inside out and sideways.

And I’d never want to go back.

Maybe because I was what my o.b. once (and only once) termed a “geriatric mom”, I found that even the sleep-deprived moments had an element of joy. Joni Mitchell said you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone. That perfectly described my once treasured 8-9 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night. But I was awake, night after night, with this fascinating, gurgly creature and I was palpably grateful. Joy in spades.

Sure, she could be a handful every now and then but, aside from one memorable pre-ballet tantrum that landed her in the “naughty chair” for an hour while I slowly sipped Chardonnay and seethed, Soph was a dream. Still is.

Of course, this is easy to say when we still haven’t gotten to puberty yet. She’s on the edge of it, can almost see it if she stands on her pointe shoes, but it’s not here yet. I’ll have to get back to you on if and how that changes things.

I earnestly believe that having Soph when I was older meant that, although I had a little less energy than younger moms, I had a great deal more patience. We spent many, many lazy days doing nothing more than packing up some Ritz Bits and Juicy Juice and walking down to the creek near our house to watch the turtles sun themselves. Every now and then, we’d get all gussied up and go to a play or a concert together, splitting a Twix bar at intermission in a ritual we’ll have for the rest of our lives, I think.

Will she say she hates me one day? Perhaps. Will there be door-slamming and tongue-piercing and a procession of sullen, head-down boyfriends who honk the horn for her to come outside? Perhaps.

For now, we curl up and watch “Project Runway” together while Daddy sighs at such mediocrity and shuffles back downstairs to watch The History Channel.

For now, it’s all “Twilight” posters and books and watching her navigate preteen friendships with great care and more kindness than I did. Sophie didn’t arrive on this earth to make me a better person but I think it happened anyway. Joy all over the place.

Celia Rivenbark dishes essays about the old south, the new south, and everything in between in her fifth book YOU CAN'T DRINK ALL DAY IF YOU DON'T START IN THE MORNING. In addition to a collection of essays so funny you’ll shoot co’cola out of your nose, Celia gives readers a treasure trove of Southern recipes and the hilarious stories behind them.

For eight years Celia wrote for her hometown paper, the Wallace, NC Enterprise. She covered everything from weddings to funky fruit to dead bodies(sometimes all in the same day). But the big city beckoned so Celia packed her bags and headed to Wilmington, NC and the Morning Star. More weddings but eventually she achieved every Southern girl’s dream. She was paid to be a smart ass(a.k.a. write a humor column).

Along the way she found herself a husband (the sports writer, of course-- they are the cutest guys at the paper!), a beautiful baby daughter, and a gig as a stay-at-home mom. After her 3,000^th diaper change, Celia starting writing a humor column for the Sun News in Myrtle Beach, SC. After all, what’s funnier than 3000 dirty diapers? Laugh along with Celia on her WOW Blog Tour-- dates are listed at www.wow-womenonwriting.com/blog.html

Thanks to WOW Blog Tours, I have a copy of YOU CAN'T DRINK ALL DAY IF YOU DON'T START IN THE MORNING to share with one of you. To enter this contest, please leave a comment (with a way to contact you) telling me what your drink of choice is! To double or triple your chances, you can blog and/or tweet about this giveaway with a link back to this post. This contest will be open until Thursday, October 22nd at 11:59 p.m. EST; and I will notify the winner the following day. This contest is open to those of you with United States addresses only. Good luck!